How to befriend with your boss

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Sometimes the hardest friend to make is the one that signs your paycheck. We all want to have a great relationship with our boss, but we need to straddle the line between being a proper employee and a total brownnoser.

There’s actually a right and a wrong way to befriend your boss and it starts with thinking of your boss as a person rather than as an authority figure. Truth be told, your boss wants to like the people he works with just as much as you do. Developing a friendship with your boss is simply aboutlearning to interact on a mature social level. You can do that, can’t you?

what to do

The best way to connect with and befriend your boss is to show him that you’re a good guy on a personal level, and not just on a professional level. Managers promote people who they feel they know and like, which makes developing a friendship with your boss a smart career move.

Partner up outside the office

It’s unsurprising that we, as people, tend to gravitate toward other people who enjoy the same or similar things. But if you really want to sweeten your boss up, find a way to partner up with him outside of the office.

Whether it’s on the racquetball court, the shooting range or the golf course, cubicle dwellers naturally come together when there is a common activity that bonds them outside of the office. Engaging in friendly activities outside the office with your boss are also nice ways to build a relationship that isn’t based on authority, but rather camaraderie, like the rest of your friendships were made.

Get into his world

Talking about office politics and customer complaints only reminds your boss that he is your boss and not your friend. But when you talk about more personal topics, like his favorite sports team or a great vacation spot, you’re talking like you’re speaking to your friend, not your boss. Try to direct the conversation toward topics that feel personal and natural, not forced and political.

Ask about the small stuff

While you may not really care that your boss’ kid is turning 5, your boss does. You don’t need to be a total kiss ass, but mentioning the small items -- like birthdays, his favorite sports team winning a game or when you read about his alma mater in the paper -- really makes a difference. This is, after all, how friends interact.

The key to the game here is a natural approach, so a casual mention during your conversation makes sense. But dropping off a big present for his kid may lead him to think you’re trying too hard or gunning for a promotion. It’s easy to lose your intent to befriend your boss with a bad delivery.

Meet their spouse

When your boss wants to complain, he complains to his spouse. So being one of the few people that your boss’ spouse knows, and likes, can help you a ton, especially if the complaint is about you.

You’d be surprised how powerful of an ally his spouse can be when she is on your side, and what a bitter enemy she can be when she isn’t. Any first-person contact is meaningful, whether it’s a 10-minute conversation at the holiday party or an after-work meeting for dinner and drinks. Make sure you create an alliance with the real decision maker

what to avoid

As you’re becoming the fraternity brother that your boss never had, it’s easy to get caught up in the relationship. You want to be Dr. Evil’s smooth Number Two, not Mr. Burns’ butt-kissing Smithers.

Don’t be the shoulder to cry on

Maybe your boss is having a tough time at home and he just needs someone to confide in. A simple confession may turn into a more serious reliance on you to be an emotional crutch during his hardship. Be extremely careful that personal matters only go so far. Remember, you want more Dr. Evil and less Dr. Phil.

Avoid employee gossip

It may feel great that your boss is willing to gossip to you about the lousy job your coworkers are doing, but it’s not information you really want to know. Heaven forbid that you find out your coworker is about to be fired. Now you’re sitting in a totally uncomfortable situation.

You’re better off nipping that problem in the bud and changing the subject as quickly as possible. Once word gets out that you have an inside track on how people are performing, your coworkers will start alienating you like they do your boss, principally out of fear.

Don’t reveal everything

Your boss wants to believe that when you show up for work every day that you’re ready to do your best. The last thing he wants to hear is how you barely slept last night because you were out all night partying with your college buddies. As a general rule, don’t tell your boss anything you wouldn’t be willing to tell your grandmother. After all, she still thinks you’re a saint, right?

Know when to say when

Going out and having a drink with your boss can be a great way to loosen up and get personal; however, going out and having 10 drinks and turning into Frank the Tank is just a really bad idea. You can let loose all you want around your coworkers at an office party, but the last impression you want to give is your frat-boy redux in front of your boss.

be cool friendly guy

The best of both worlds is to be friendly while still maintaining your cool. As soon as you start treating your boss like a man crush, you’re going to create an uncomfortable situation for everyone involved
Read more: http://www.askmen.com/money/successful_150/173b_success.html#ixzz1cYlSkv6a.


Read more: http://www.askmen.com/money/successful_150/173_success.html#ixzz1cYlHuOoC

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